Another Snarky Title: New Sucky Beer to Premiere at Old Sucky Concert

Perhaps Bon Jovi was once cool, but Moosehead Light Lime never will be. This is an epic marketing disaster unfolding before our very eyes.

Quote revealing total lack of beer knowledge of the marketing genius who came up with this one:

"It's a flavour that's not overwhelming. It's consistent through the whole bottle or the whole glass."

(Editor's note: I guess this beer doesn't have different flavors at the bottom of the can, like, um, I don't know, a Dannon fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt container.)

Also, I've been known to rock some Bon Jovi in my day, but seriously, what does this next quote say about you as a person if you wanted to go to the Bon Jovi concert (in short, I think it means you're in the "awful taste" demographic):

Gracewood said the demographic of consumers at the Bon Jovi concert is perfect for their new beer, so they want to give the music fans a special treat.

Breaking News: Dogfish Head to Brew More Crazy Crap

This article in Scientific American says that Dogfish Head is brewing a "new" beer that reproduces a 9,000-year old Chinese recipe for a fermented wine-like beverage. Not only is that not new, it's been on the shelves for the last couple of years (it's called Chateau Jiahu, and I'm sure you've seen it. Not really beer, but I like it a lot.) Of more newsworthy import are these next paragraphs: 

Next week, the brewery will be bottling up the first large batch of Sah’tea for the general public—a modern update on a ninth-century Finnish beverage. In the fall, The New Yorker documented the intricate research and preparation that went into making the beer, which was first offered on tap at the brewery in May. In short, brewmasters carmelize wort on white hot river rocks, ferment it with German Weizen yeast, then toss on Finnish berries and a blend of spices to jazz up this rye-based beverage.  Reviewers at the BeerAdvocate universally praised Sah'tea, comparing it to a fruity hefeweizen.  One user munched on calamari as he downed a pint and described the combo as “a near euphoric experience."

And Dogfish is also bringing back one of their more unusual forays into alcohol-infused time travel. Called Theobroma, this cocoa-based brew was hatched from a chemical analysis of 3,200-year-old pottery fragments from the Cradle of Chocolate, the Ulua Valley in Honduras. Archaeologist John Henderson at Cornell University first described the beverage in 2007 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, pushing the first use of the chocolate plant back by 600 years. Dogfish first sold Theobroma in May 2008, and the next batch—made from a blend of cocoa, honey, chilies, and annatto—will be on shelves and in taps in July.  The chocolate beer was apparently too sweet for Evan at The Full Pint, who writes that it contained “a ton and a half of sugary sweetness” with “an insane amount of gooeyness left behind on the roof of your mouth."

Sam, Rupesh, and Creative Loafing's Beer Issue

Yesterday I waltzed into Slice in downtown Atlanta looking to grab some dinner. Since I was alone -- so very, very alone -- I grabbed the Creative Loafing at the bar.


"Look, it's the beer issue!" I said to my brain. "Maybe if I read this article on homebrewing, I'll have something insightful to say and look smart at beer cl--"

And then I saw it.

Rupe and Sam hoisting forth their beers on the cover. Our Rupe. And our Sam. On the cover with beer!


But who are these other beer drinkers? Are Rupe and Sam in another beer club? Are they too cool for us? Should the Dirty South Beer Club worry about defection?

I mean, the article makes the folks sound pretty awesome -- growing hops, performing science, brewing beer. All we have to offer is stunningly attractive members with loose morals and a cursory knowledge of HTML. It's not much, but it's all we've got.

On behalf of the Dirty South Beer Club, I beseech you, Rupe and Sam -- please don't forget about us little people!

10 best breweries?

At the previously referenced event, one conversation came up about the 10 best breweries in the US. Now that Bells Brewery is finally here in GA, would Bells make the cut?

I tried to figure it out in my head...top 10 breweries...what a task! And I am someone who leans towards dark beers and IPA, so my list may be biased, but here's what I figure:

* Stick to breweries you have tried (therefore, the elusive Russian Hills cannot compete)
* US based breweries only
* They don't have to make every beer insanely good, but they do have to make excellent special beers. (Hence why Bell's is in the competition in my mind, their Hop Slam and Expedition Stout are amazing, but their other beers come in at a "decent" level in my mind.

But I really don't know if Bells IS in the top ten. Here's my list, in a sort of order but not really:

1. Avery
2. Dogfish Head
3. Great Divide
4. Duck Rabbit
5. Three Floyd’s
6. Rogue
7. Stone
8. Brooklyn
9. Victory
10. Weyerbacher
11. Flying Dog
12. Founders
13. Port Brewing Company (I have had a limited selection, all of which are excellent)
14. Moyland’s (I have had a limited selection, all of which are excellent)
15. Bridgeport?
16. Terrapin? Only their special brews like Rye Squared, Big Hoppy Monster, potentially Dos Cocoas, and anything Oak Aged. Well actually maybe Bells beats Terrapin.


Now surely not everyone will agree, but that's my list and I'm sticking to it. Maybe I just think Bells is overrated, but I don't think they'd take a cut in my top ten. Maybe in the top 16 they could bump someone out.

But not surprisingly, someone has already made a listing of the top 50 breweries. Not surprisingly, that someone is Beer Advocate. And their list of 50 does not include Bells.

Not sure I really agree with their listing at all, actually, but I was pleasantly surprised to see the delicious Snake River Brewery in Jackson WY make the list. Harpoon at #49 I can see, but does that trump Bells?

So...where does Bells fit??

Happy Happy Saturday

Yesterday we hosted our first ever Dirty South Beer Club party. It was awesome. Vargo hosted, a grillin' was involved, as were 3 pony kegs of beer, containing: Bell's Oberon, Allagash White, and Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA. It started out in the early afternoon and carried through til about 12 midnight. Turns out we got the right amount of beer--almost all gone after the party! Guests kindly brought other delicious beers to share and the food was done potluck style. Vargo/Lauren were excellent hosts, making sure people always had food and drink and were playing horseshoes or bocce. Or, talking about beer.

A job well done, DSBC!

Best Beer Run Ever

Listen to this:

Police say 51-year-old Danforth Ross of Vassalboro was charged May 29 with operating under the influence after he and a friend made a beer run on a riding lawn mower. The arrest came after the two emerged from a variety store with two cases of beer.

Vivian, why don't you try that mode of transportation on the way to the party tomorrow?

Beer's Law

You guys will never guess what I discovered today while reading about the solar radiation budget of sea ice... Beer's Law. The law states that the amount of short wave radiation transmitted through a material decreases exponentially with distance from the material surface on which the radiation is incident. Thanks Beer. (German mathematician August Beer)

Ten Cent Beer Night

35 years ago today, Cleveland Municipal Stadium hosted ten cent beer night when the Indians hosted the Texas Rangers. As could be expected, the stadium was full of people who wanted to get totally smashed and didn't even like baseball. Ergo, lots of nudity, fighting, and a large-scale riot. Well, in honor of the anniversary... someone in Cleveland is hosting ten cent beer night. For real. Who wants to go? 

The News You Have Always Wanted to be True...

...now is. After exercising, it is better for you to drink beer than to drink water. I love the hell out of science. Anyone want to follow the scientific method and try this out for ourselves?

Georgia Recall: Athens Brews Bad Coors Light

But... I thought the whole point of it was to be sub-par in the first place?