The Real "Mallternative" -- Decatur, GA or Mike's Hard Lemonade?

This afternoon I stumbled across the Wikipedia page for Mike's Hard Lemonade. I was checking to see if God's gift to fifteen year-olds was classified as a beer or a "malt beverage" or alcopop or what.

The answer was shocking! ...especially to this law-abiding Decatur, GA resident. Mike's Hard Lemonade is actually a "malternative."

You heard me! Malternative. Sound familiar?



Unconscionable!

First, there's the brazen thievery of The Grange, a Decatur watering hole, and their attempt to steal the identity of The National Grange of the Patrons of Husbandry -- now this!

Decatur, have you no shame? Were we really to believe you wanted to establish yourself as a "mallternative" as in an alternative to mall shopping!?! Please.

This sneaky marketing campaign -- right under our noses! -- has all along been an attempt to lure 15 year-old lushes out of the basements of unsuspecting, out-of-town parents and onto our city streets! Stumbling about no less, in search of their precious malternatives.

I won't stand for this, just as you wouldn't stand our motto being "Decatur: A City of Homes, Schools, Places of Worship, and Underage Imbibers of Sweet, Sweet Malt Beverages." Somebody do something. I am disgusted.